eggs

Okay, so this is going to be my first guest blog and hopefully not the last. Since today was Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be nice to help out Lindz and put a special bonus episode on the site.

First off, I’m really lazy, and I like to be able to throw food together about a quickly as I can eat it. The fact that Lindzee makes delicious and healthy food has been a godsend for a guy that ate Bacon Bacon Ultimate Cheeseburgers and dollar tacos like they was going out of style. While I am no chef, there are some things that I can make that I am proud of. With a name like Javier Barrera, you can guess that it most likely involves a shell of some sort, or end with -urrito. Also, breakfast is my most favorite genre of meal since it generally involves either bacon or sausage. Having said all of this, you can only imagine that I’m going to combine the two to make the most perfect meal for my most perfect girl.

Continuing forward, this is what you’re going to need to make some delicious Sunday hangover – er, Valentine’s Day breakfast burritos. Since I’m a hungry man, I’m going to give you a recipe to make 4 breakfast delights, enough to serve an equal number of people.

• 1 lb of turkey sausage
• 1 lb potatoes o’Brien, frozen
• 5 eggs
• ¼ cup milk
• 2 tbl olive oil
• 4 large tortillas, I recommend jalapeno cheddar flavor if you can find them.
• 8 oz graded cheddar jack
• 1 handful of fresh cilantro
• 2 avocados
• 1 dash Cholula brand hot sauce

First off, let’s start cooking the turkey sausage in a large saute pan. Turn the burner to medium high, and squeeze the delicious ball of health into the pan. When it first hits, its going to look much like the container that it was in. Using a spatula, break up the sausage so that it can cook evenly. Cook the sausage for about 10 minutes so that its pretty well cooked, but not fully.

There will be a little bit of juice from the water in the sausage, and a bit of fat. Go ahead and drain that into an empty beer can or whatever you use for that sort of thing.

Put the olive oil into the pan with the sausage, and swirl the pan so that the oil completely covers the bottom. Turn the heat down to medium, and throw the potatoes o’brian in with the sausage. Put a lid partially on the pan so that the water can escape from the frozen potatoes as it cooks. We’ll let this cook for about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally so that we can finish cooking the sausage and brown the potatoes evenly.

While the bulk of our food is cooking, let’s crack our eggs into a large bowl. Put a couple of dashes of Cholula hot sauce into everything. Pour the milk into the bowl and beat the eggs mercilessly with two forks. When you’re done, you should have creamy mixture. If you don’t see bubbles, then you didn’t do it hard enough.

I also take this time to layout my burrito shells and put the cheese on them. As long as my counter is clean, I just do it on there for simplicity sake. Put about two oz of the shredded cheddar jack on each of the shells. We’re also going to need to turn on our oven to 350 degrees at this time. Baking everything for about 8 minutes will allow for the cheese to melt fully, and give the outside a nice texture.

Check your sausage and potato mixture. When it looks like its safe to eat, let’s go ahead and turn the heat down to medium low and pour our eggs in. I was kinda experimenting and put some cilantro in with the eggs, however, I quickly realized that it was probably not going to release the flavor properly. I would just recommend that you enjoy the photo with my mistake, and just put the cilantro in after we’re done cooking this mixture.

Once everything has been cooked – which should be about 6 – 8 minutes or so, let’s evenly scoop everything into the 4 shells. It should be about two ladles full in each one. Let’s now take our cilantro and put a couple of pinches in each one. Slice up your avocados, and place a few slices evenly into each one.

Now, this is going to be the hardest part for most people, and is what makes burritos a true art form. The roll is crucial for a number of reasons. First off, its great to have a well rolled burrito when you’re driving in your car and trying to eat at the same time. Keeping the food in the shell allows you to get to work without looking like you require a bib – which may in turn lead to that promotion that lets you finally sell that 1993 Jeep Grand Cherokee with the paint peeling off. Furthermore, a perfect roll is great because it gives your street cred with other Mexicans such as myself, and its nice to have that when its 2am and you’re the last person in line at the taco stand. Rant, off…

Okay, so take the sides of the shell that are perpendicular to the breakfast stuffing. Fold in, keeping your pointer and bird fingers on the top. Take your thumbs, and begin to roll the part of the shell closest to you forward.

Keep your two fingers on the side while you do this as it helps keep the shell nice and tight. Once you have the sides covered with the back, take your four fingers and repeat. Once everything has been rolled you can use your hands and pat it down and help the contents settle. Place this on a baking pan, and repeat for the other burritos.

Let’s go ahead an put them in the oven, and let them bake for about 8 minutes.

Enjoy this time with the fact that you only have one dirty pan, a spatula, two bowls, and a couple of forks. Once your food is done, grab a cup of coffee, turn on your DVR recording of COPS – Women Behaving Badly, and enjoy your morning.